Simple Hobby Homesteading

Fridays on the Farm…

This week we are answering a reader’s question…

Samantha asks, “How much food do all your animals go through in a week?” The boys and I (feeders of the animals) gathered the critters around to ask their input. Here goes…

Nala (German Shepherd Dog): I get one and a half cups of the tolerable dry kibble each morning and evening. When eating the kibble it is vitally important that one takes a few pieces out and places them on the floor so as to add some extra floor dirt flavor. My evening meal is lovingly drizzled with a little extra virgin olive oil (boys, stop giving me that cruddy “classico”, I know the difference) and a couple brewers yeast tablets which are supposedly meant to help me in some sort of fashion. Perhaps they help put hair on my chest! For my afternoon snack I search out the spine, leg, or pelt of a random deer carcass that the lovely hunters just happen to leave for us throughout the woods.

Fuzzy (Great Pyrenees dog who insists she is a German Shepherd in disguise): I get three cups of dry kibble in the morning and four cups in the evening. Allegedly I am eating them out of house and home but that is ridiculous as the home is still standing perfectly and as far as I know there is no other house that they have. Liars… a bunch of exaggerating liars! For a mid-morning snack I get four satin balls which are lovely concoctions of beef, egg, oil, molasses, oats, wheat germ, Total cereal, and gelatin. They are AMAZING and really pack on the weight for me with my thoroughbred-like metabolism. You can get the recipe here… http://www.instructables.com/id/Put-weight-on-your-dog-with-satin-balls/ .  For an afternoon snack I get three more satin balls which are as equally yummy as my mid-morning snack.  I also have a weird taste for ear dirt. I just love ear dirt.

Axel (1 year old German Shepherd dog): ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! I eat anything and everything that I find. Stuffed toys, cat toys, linoleum, trim, cat poo, dog hair, sticks, paper, carpet, rocking chair legs, trash, etc. You name it and I’ll eat it. In the morning I come across a bowl full of dog food and I eat that too. At night I always come across another bowl full of dog food and yup, I go ahead and eat that too, bowl and all. I love to eat! At my last dog doctor visit I overheard the lady farmer asking the doctor if I was “normal.” Apparently my eclectic diet may be contributing to an astronomical growth spurt and the rumor is my daddy was a great dane. Totally not true, I am full Shepherd, these folks are just nasty rumor spreaders and it’s just plain not funny.

Simba (son of Mommy Cat and resident king of the Mouse Patrol posse of cats):  Mouse bodies, lizards, and baby snakes. I really can’t stand the mouse heads and tails so I leave those on the porch for the other cats to eat. It’s also kinda funny to see the family scream when they almost step on them as they walk out the door.  I also like that cat food that the family gives us but I’m a little tired of having to defend those little nuggets of goodness from the dogs and chickens. They could have a huge bowl of their own food just sitting in front of their face and they still choose to come and chow down mine. Rude, just plain rude.

Mo (sheep): I love oats, grass (dried and fresh varieties), and the leftover chicken feed that is way at the bottom of each bag.

Elliott (Nigerian Dwarf Goat… top of the herd despite his smallish stature and lack of any great beard): Let me clear something up RIGHT NOW. Goats do not eat anything and everything and I wish people would stop claiming that absurd fact. If you want proof of things eating anything and everything I give you exhibit A and B…  (A) Axel the dog and (B) all chickens. They eat everything within sight and smell. Goats do not. We are actually quite picky, only selecting the very best forage, hay that has never been stepped or sneezed upon, grains and pellets of almost any kind (ok, we aren’t too picky there),  and the occasional pant leg. The list of things we will not eat is actually quite extensive… won’t touch dog food, that stuff is quite foul. There are countless plants and grass types which are also unappealing to our sensitive taste buds. We don’t eat cans, we are not barbarians. I will lick out yummy goodness from the inside of cans but rest assured I’m not planning on eating metal. However, we are force fed not-so-little capsules of iron rods but let me be very clear that this is not by our own doing and we do occasionally get a hankering for a finger when the farmer lady sticks those things in the back of our throats and demands us to swallow. Long story short, my public service announcement is this… Please stop perpetuating unkind stereotypes of the eating habits of goats. That is all.

Muffins (rabbit formerly known as Batman until she had a litter of cute babies…apparently “Batmen” don’t have babies but Muffins certainly do): Poo, I eat my own poo, yes I do. Google it.

Chickens (in a loud chorus together): WE EAT EVERYTHING! Maybe we are part Axel or Axel is part chicken because that guy is definitely part of the family proven by his eating habits. We especially like sugar of any kind and our favorite time of year is December because the family makes their annual gingerbread (they’re graham crackers, don’t let them fool you) village and we get to go all Godzilla on it when they are finished. They just stand there, watch, and giggle as we happily lay waste to all of their hard work. These people are seriously disturbed. We love traditions. Some of our favorite morsels to find while out roaming are mouse parts (those crazy cats are so uppity and only eat certain parts. Sometimes I even think they just kill for sport, horrible), bugs, grass, worms, frogs, dirt, cat food, dog food, horse food, goat food, sheep food, rabbit food, chicken food, leaves, do I really need to go on? If we can find it, we eat it. Everything just tastes so amazing!

Katja (oldest German Shepherd Dog EVER… well at 15 maybe not, but she’s gotta be close): I eat dog food but only after it has been moistened by water that is neither too cold or too hot. I’m like the baby bear of water temperature… it has to be just right. Even then I will not touch it for several hours but just lay there and guard it from all would be predators trying to get my dog food. Sometimes I decide to eat it and sometimes I make the family throw it out and give me new perfectly moistened dog food. Oh and bacon, I love bacon! None of that nasty turkey bacon, give me the pig stuff, it’s not hard to tell the difference, really people, come on.

Zelda and The Duke of Wesselton (guinea pigs): We are what you might call “high maintenance”… we demand a variety cup of fresh vegetables with a bit of fruit each day as well as fresh cool water, pellets with those dried pieces of sweet potato, pear or apple tree branches to chew on, fresh hay twice a day (it seems to get a stale taste when it sits out for a couple hours), and a salt lick wheel with which to lick upon. Life is hard, we can’t live without this perfect diet (at least we have the family thinking this… don’t tell them if you know any different).

Pepsi and Mercedez (horses): We go through about 70 pounds of hay each day as well as a couple pounds grain. Slight favor here… would you tell the farmer lady and her sons to stop spreading the hay all over the place. We would prefer to stand in one spot all day and eat. This whole walking around to get our food thing is getting quite ridiculous and we know not everyone lives like this. I (Mercedez) once went to a place with lots of horses and they got to stand in one place all day and night and just eat eat eat. I know it is possible and some horses are living that lap of luxury, why not me? I don’t care about “conditioning” or “natural hoof wear”… I just want to not have to move to get my food… am I really asking that much? We have a salt and mineral block that we love to eat in a day one time and leave for several weeks at other times. However, once again, this is many long and strenuous strides away from where I eat my hay. The rate at which we eat our yummy block really confuses the farmer lady and we find that comical. Take that one who makes me walk around for me food, we’ll show you! I also like to splash around profusely in my water before taking a drink… it just feels good.

Guineas: we love ticks… we hunt those little evil doers down and eat them like their ain’t no tomorrow!

 

Well, I guess they pretty much summed it all up. We go through a lot of feed on the farm each week but we try to keep their diet as natural as possible. Have a great weekend all!

~Jhenna and the critters