Simple Hobby Homesteading

It’s official… there shall no longer be breakfast. Lunch, and supper… there shall simply be morning snack, meal 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and midnight snack.

As always I slept fitfully dreaming of anything and everything… my brain refuses to ever shut off and just gets weird at night. I woke early, not 4am, but early enough. Kevin and the boys were slumbering peacefully so I snuck out to grab some fufu coffee at the ships’s coffee shop “Café Latte-tudes.” There were fresh jelly donuts and croissants as well so of course I got some to go with my coffee.

I headed back down to the cabin to wait for our room service morning snack and jump in the shower. Kevin and the boys started waking up about 7:00am when I peeked out the curtains and totally accidentally let a ton of sunshine flood into the room. Our breakfast snack was supposed to be to our room before 7:30am and we got the call at 7:05 that our tasty morsels were on their way.

7:15… nothing

7:20… nothing

7:25… nothing

7:30… nothing

7:35… nothing

7:40… nothing

7:45… nothing

My spa appointment was at 8am so I couldn’t wait any longer… I wondered what had happened to our morning snack but the jelly donut, croissant, and coffee in my tummy reminded me that I really didn’t care all that much. Kevin and the boys headed up to the Windjammer for breakfast while I went to my spa appointment!

The spa was super nice though truth be told the massage wasn’t much of a deep tissue massage… I think I just liked my folks back at Fusion Spa in Evansville better than anyone (ooh, do I get a free massage for giving them props in my blog?). The scalp massage was blissful but not sure what made it a “Frangipani” scalp massage… felt like regular finger tips massaging my head but oh did that feel good. I don’t really like my feet messed with so the foot and ankle massage was so-so for me. The full body exfoliation was certainly an experience… kinda ouch but refreshing at the same time… hard to put into words. It seemed the lady had belt sanders for hands but it was a fine grit sandpaper instead of coarse grit… does that paint an accurate picture? Weird, I know.

I finished my spa treatment and headed back to our cabin to meet up with my family. Our ship was anchored just off of the island of Coco Cay (private Royal Caribbean island and we were the only ship there!) so I wanted to head there and swim with all the critters of the Atlantic Ocean. My family was not at our cabin so I took a few minutes to push the two lower twin beds together to make one big bed so I could have my snuggle buddy back that night! I shoved the bedside tables into whatever little nooks and crannies they would fit and called my job done… now off to find my husband and sons!

I stopped by the coffee shop on my way to the Windjammer (most likely place they would be) and grabbed my usual grande white chocolate mocha.  Sure enough, there they were, consuming large amounts of bacon, omelets, waffles, biscuits, and who knows what else. I joined in the fun with some waffles and biscuits, yumm!

Tummies filled we headed back down to the room to get our stuff for our island getaway. Swimsuits and sunblock… there, stuff gotten! We grabbed beach towels and a couple bottles of water from the ship on our way onto the smaller boat that would tender us to the island. We arrived a few minutes later to peer into the clearest bluest water I had ever seen. Tropical fish swam through the water as if I were peering into a doctor’s office aquarium, it was magnificent!

 

Kevin had read online before the trip that we needed to search out “Barefoot Beach” as it was where all the “experienced cruisers” knew to go. A beach beyond the other beaches which had hardly any people… yup that’s where we wanted to be. We walked and walked and walked and figured out quickly why few people went to Barefoot Beach… it was quite the little jaunt and there were no signs guiding you to it. We found it quite by accident and realized we had only been walking for about 15 minutes… man that sun was hot… it seemed like three hours! Sure enough, there were very few people and plenty of open beach chairs in the sun and the shade. We found a nice little spot by some trees and the boys and I grabbed our stuff to change. Before long the boys and I were in the Atlantic having a blast in clear warm water. We found huge conch shells and starfish. Gunner wanted some goggles so he and I left Jackson in the ocean (Kevin could see him and he’s 16… I’m really trying to cut those apron strings!) and headed back to the port where the shops were. Once again… felt like a three hour trek to get back there only to realize I only had my sea pass (the way you pay for anything on the ship) and had forgotten my wallet with REAL money back with our stuff. UGH! We walked back and Gunner hopped back into the ocean while I grabbed my wallet and trekked back. Wow, what a mom will do for her kids! Goggles purchased (a pair for Jackson too, just in case) and I swung by the bar to get a strawberry daiquiri (non-alcohol… part of my drink package woohoo).

We had fun with the goggles looking at the fish and sea creatures but I started to notice that my boys refused to go very far out. It was shallow for hundreds upon hundreds of feet out but they hung back close to the shore. I tried to lure them out but I think they assumed I was trying to lure them to imminent shark attack and they wouldn’t venture far. They made it out about two hundred feet and were quite content so I didn’t push the matter. I floated in the salty sea soaking in every minute of the peace and quiet.

A couple dark clouds threatened to open up on us but nothing came…After a couple hours we were all getting hungry so we headed over towards the place where the ships’ crew were preparing to grill. Everyone else must have had the same idea because there were people everywhere. Sandy, hot, and used to the quietness of our secluded beach we decided to forego the beach barbecue and head back to the ship. We grabbed a boat to tender is back and we all got cleaned up. Coco Cay was really nice!

To the Windjammer Café… we were hungry! Food, food, and more food. At this point I barely noticed what the rest of my family was eating as I was a one man wrecking crew when it came to clearing out some food (especially when I’m hungry). We were back and forth on heading to the formal dining room for dinner because there was a movie poolside that the boys wanted to watch.

Gunner had been eyeing the trampolines and rock climbing wall since yesterday and we had some time to kill so he got all sorts of adventurous and did them both. Gotta say, the trampoline made me nervous… I thought he was gonna be flung right off the ship regardless of the harness! The rock climbing wall was a little better because he decided to not go very far up… thank you son, thank you. THe wall and trampline are up n deck 11 of the ship so you’re already up pretty darn high… how can people call that fun? I didn’t think I was afraid of heights but I may just be afraid of heights…

 

 

 

The ship pulled away from Coco Ca at 5:30pm and the boys talked me into watching “Avengers, Age of Ultron” by the pool while Kevin stayed in the cabin to rest and relax. The movie was great (Robert Downey Jr. has really found his niche with that Iron Man character) and we snacked through the entire thing (how that is possible I don’t know because we were all stuffed from the meal a few hours before). After the movie we headed for coffee and hot chocolate at the coffee shop and then down to relax in the cabin.

 

 

Guess what we saw when we got to the cabin… Our room was all neat and tidy, the lower beds were all made up into a big bed so that you couldn’t even tell they were two separate beds and there was a towel dog (towels twisted and contorted to look EXACTLY like a dog) sitting at the end of the bed with my sunglasses on. We all laughed and loved it! There was even a bottle of champagne and chocolate covered strawberries as an apology for our room service breakfast snack getting lost on the ship that morning. I could get used to this level of pampering!

Relaxing didn’t last long as I wanted to go to the Production Showtime in the Theatre of “Can’t Stop the Rock” and the boys reluctantly agreed to go with me (they aren’t big fans of musical shows). We went, it was good, and then there was the movie “Terminator: Genisys” which the boys wanted to go to at 10:30pm. Tis only fair that we go to that after they sat through an hour of musical type dancing stuff. We went, ate some more, and watched a good movie. Wow Arnold is really getting old!

I can’t tell you what time the movie got done or for sure how we made it back down to our cabin because I barely remember… I was sooooooooo tired! It was nice to have my snuggle buddy back although he wasn’t feeling well… it looked as if Kevin had a cold L The boys had just gotten over their colds before the cruise… Kevin and I were optimistic that we had not caught their nasty little germy virus or whatever a cold is but it looked as if he were down for the count with a runny nose and headache. But… but… tomorrow we are to dock at Nassau… Atalantis… all that jazz! He had to get better!

The foreboding dark cloud was inching closer and closer to us and our precious new friend… the Enchantment of the Seas. As we waited we checked out the indoor ship activities in our “Cruise Compass”. Ooh art scavenger hunt, yes please. The boys and I headed one deck up and got our sheet for the scavenger hunt. We had to look at different clues and find the painting/artist they were talking about. It was quite fun and we even won a prize…  a copy of David Najar’s “Fence Line.” A lovely seriolithograph in color on archival paper from 2013. Lo and behold it was 1:30pm, time to head down and check out our room!

One of our duffle bags was waiting for us outside room 3616 (third deck) and luckily it was the one with the gift boxes in it. We had a meet and greet with our fellow homeschool families in 30 minutes! I can’t remember who, but one of us slid our sea pass card (room key, charge card, proof that you were legit to be on the ship, etc.)  and voila the door opened into a larger than expected room with a loveseat, desk, tons of storage, private bathroom, huge window, and two twin beds. We plopped our backpacks down and heard a thud outside our door. Duffel bag #2 had arrived.

We all started looking around, pulling out this drawer and that. I looked in my backpack for my trusty can of Lysol only to realize I had forgotten it in the Mazda. Oh well, this room looked plenty clean. I gave the boys the “wash your hands often and utilize hand sanitizer” speech. Mother’s love their speeches. We saw that there were two more twin beds stowed into the ceiling and knew somehow they must come out/down if our boys were to avoid having to share the loveseat for the night. There seemed to be a square hole for a likewise square tool to fit into that would surely lower the magical beds. Where was the tool? We looked everywhere! Our tool was missing! I was about to call up to guest services when Kevin reminded me that it was almost 2pm… meet and greet.

We resolved to get down to the mystery of the beds upon our return and figured we could push the bottom two twins together to make one big bed for Kevin and I later (not our idea, Mazie had told me many moons ago this was what was done for couples). We went to the meet and greet a few decks up in a lovely huge conference room at the front of the ship… or back… I couldn’t really tell. Oh and front is the bow and the back is the stern… when you are talking about the rear you refer to “aft” but it’s not called “the aft” it just is aft. “Forward” is to the front but it is not called “the forward.”  Confusing? Yes, it is to me and I refused to use the correct terms even though my husband and both boys were correcting me earnestly every time I used the words “front” and “back.”

I’m not even kidding when I say I had to ask my husband and kids for a refresher course just now while writing that. I simply asked “Where was the conference room, the front or the back?” That’s when the lesson began and I typed as they talked. Then Kevin asked a trick question… “What side was our cabin on?” I smartly replied, “The outer side… we had a window!” He replied, “There were windows on the other side too.” Grrrrr he was right. I tried again, “The exterior side.” I quickly realized it was virtually the same answer I had just given. He lovingly corrected me with “Starboard side honey, we were on the starboard side” (am I spelling that right?). Ok, good, now I can sleep at night.

We were able to meet the families cruising with us for the next week at our lovely meet ad greet. There were a couple families from Indiana, woohoo represent! My soap/lotion/bath salts gift boxes were given out and my name was even drawn for a prize, lucky me! I was also given a special gift (neat journal) for being funny on the forums in our Facebook group or for bringing the gift boxes to give out… not sure which, but once again, I’m not prone to look a gift horse in the mouth (please tell me that’s how that saying goes) so I accepted and was thrilled with my journal. I really do love journals!

Conway tummies were rumbling so we stayed at the meet and greet just long enough to get everyone’s names and to hear Mazie explain that we had to do nothing for the beds… they would be all ready for us when we returned to our cabins after dinner. But… how will something get done if I don’t do it… what kind of crazy train did we board… this was all quite foreign to me as I am a “gonna do it myself” kind of person. If I can’t do it myself then I’m gonna have my husband do it… definitely not used to having others do so much for me!

To the Windjammer Café… We were hungry! Oh and the conference room was at the stern (back… right?) so we went up to deck 9 and foreward. Kevin is a big fan of stairs so no elevators for the Conways. We were all still very excited so we practically floated up those stairs!

Windjammer Café… food, food, and more food! Asian food, American food, Italian food, German food, Japanese food, South American food, every kind of food you could imagine! And desserts… oh my the desserts! Gunner tried the hamburger (of course) and fries… 5 out of 5 stars! Jackson went for a burger and fries as well… 5 out of 5 stars again. I had salmon, buttery herbed noodles, salad, a couple turkey baguette sandwiches, and lots and lots of desserts. Kevin had some kind of pasta with Bolognese sauce that he said was quite good and I should make at home. The lemonade was amazing, fresh squeezed for all of us!

There was muster drill (mandatory safety speech) back on deck 4 at 3:30pm sp we made our way down to our muster drill station (station 9… a very good station if I do say so myself). As we waited for all the fellow station 9 people to show up we chatted with a crew member. Marine who was in charge of the enlisted Marine Corps Band while he served. Played trumpet in the band aboard this ship, very cool! THe man had chops and played a mean trumpet! We got our safety instructions, they showed us what the impressive sound of the emergency horn sounded like, and that was that. We were all done with the safety drill.

It was almost time for the boat to shove off so we all went out to an upper deck to watch. The rain cloud stormed upon us as soldiers would take a beach during invasion. It opened its fury on the boat for all of five minutes and we ran for the minimal covering of the ledge of the deck above us. We watched as the ship shoved off and waved to the people below obviously waving directly to us. 4:15pm… “Free Spa Raffle Draw Event for $500 in Treatments”… ummmm yes please! I even managed to talk my husband and kids in accompanying me to the fitness center for this epic giveaway. Sadly I did not win but I was offered a package at a steep discount just for coming and Kevin urged me to jump on it… “The Perfect Day”… 50 minute deep tissue massage, foot and ankle massage, Frangipani scalp massage, full body exfoliation… 75 minutes of pampering (and Frangipani treatment which may or may not involve having my head covered in algae)… normally $269 and all mine today or tomorrow for $149… sure! I made my appointment for the next morning at 8:00am… I would most likely be up at 4am anyways so 8am didn’t seem so crazy.

We then proceeded back down to our room to relax a bit and see if our third duffel bag had arrived. As we were walking down we passed an area with a bunch of luggage. I spotted our third duffel and told the staff member guarding the said luggage. He asked what the liquid inside the bag was. I suddenly remember I had stashed our left over Gatorades in there and told him that’s what they were.  He said, “ok” and we were free to take our duffel bag. All those bags sitting there had mystery liquids of one kind or another which I guess will get you held up at “customs” rather quickly.

I unpacked and put everyone’s things where I though t they should go…no way I would risk giving up all control and have another person unpack for me while I was at dinner (I doubt they would do that but I was operating on very little sleep so anything seemed possible). Our dinner table would be ready for us at 5:45pm in the My Fair Lady dining room so I pulled out the boys’ collar shirts and slacks while Kevin changed into his slacks and nice shirt. I put on some slacks and a nice top as well and we were on our way to dinner.

Chairs were pulled out for each of us at our table and our napkins were infolded and placed in our laps by our servers… wow! Boys were a little weirded out by that but they went with it without shouting “stranger danger” so all was well. The menu was scrumptious! I had the fennel crusted salmon with rosemary potatoes, Jackson had the primerib, Gunner had steak, and Kevin tried the escargot (snails) and had cod for his entrée. He LOVED the escargot… buttery, salty… yummy.  No way you were going to get me to try them… the boys agreed and politely declined when Kevin offered hem some. We all loved our food. I had crème brulee for dessert and it was amazing! I couldn’t believe all this food was free… truly folks, that’s one of the amazing things about cruises… the food is included with your original ticket price!

We were stuffed but the night was still young! We headed down to our room to change into comfy clothes and to our surprise the two twin beds were lowered down from the ceiling and all made up! So neat!! The boys tried them out and gave their stamp of approval. The two lower twin beds were still separated and truth be told Kevin and I were too stuffed to attempt to get them pushed together and made up into one bed at this point. Day Two Cruise Compass was also waiting for us to check out! Day two… Coco Cay!

 At 7:45pm the Welcome Aboard Comedy Show began and we didn’t want t miss that. We stopped by the Starbucks on our way up to the show and grabbed some fufu coffees (yeah, free because of our drink package that we got).  The comedy show in the Orpheum Theater was so funny! We met our cruise director, Marc Walker there (fantastic) and watched comic Mike Pace do his thing. Great comic!

We didn’t make it out in time to go to the “Liquor Box Folding Competition”  at 8:30pm but we weren’t too bummed by that. We did head up to deck 9 to catch some snacks from Park Café and the movie “San Andreas” on the big screen by the pools. By 9:30pm Kevin was getting tired so he headed down to the cabin. 10:00pm had me and my sons in the Boleros Lounge for some “Bingo” which was actually quite fun.

Late night snacks of nachos and burgers after that from the Park Café and then we were all quite exhausted (and full) so we headed down to our cabin. The boys snuggled in their beds and watched out the window as the Atlantic Ocean slipped quietly by. We could feel hardly any rocking of the ship and so far none of us had even an inkling of sea sickness. We chatted about having something delivered to the room for a light breakfast before our main big breakfast. Room service is such a fancy thing we went for it… we all filled out what we wanted…pastries, orange juice, toast, and bacon and slipped it on the outside of our door to be picked up by the magical room service staff sometime in the night. I snuggled down into my twin bed and Kevin into his a mere 3 feet from me… we hadn’t slept apart in a long time… I missed my snuggle buddy but I was soooooo exhausted I drifted off rather quickly.

Day 1 is in the books… what will day 2 bring? Thus far the rain had only inconvenienced a few moments of our day but what would it bring us on day 2?

 

Installment 2 of our adventure away from the farm!

Last I left you we had made it all the way down the lane… only about 7 hours behind schedule. Luckily our momentum was fueled by making it into Kentucky within moments of leaving (it’s nice living next to the state border!). Gas and snacks were our first order of business as it should be with every family roadtrip.

We were all quite excited and chatted off and on for about twenty minutes before switching over to some Wretched Radio podcasts. Gunner was asleep within moments as is usually the case when he rides.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kentucky flew by and Tennessee welcomed us with gusto. Jackson dozed off and on, Gunner slumbered steadily and I enjoyed playing co-pilot/navigator… my main job (as decided by me) was to echo Siri’s directions to my husband. The jury is out on how truly helpful this was to him but I prefer to think I was immensely helpful as Siri’s Australian accent was slightly annoying. Out of habit I messed around on my phone… Facebook, emails, reading articles… a little bit of everything withut accomplishing much of anything.

Tennessee flew by quicker than we all thought when we saw the Welcome to Georgia sign. Woohoo! Our sons’ first time in Georgia! We were ecstatic! Well, everyone except Gunner, he was still asleep.

And then it happened…  a huge “Tennessee Welcomes You” sign popped back up. What? Did we turn around without me seeing it? What had my husband done? WE HAVE TO BE IN GEORGIA!! Some blame casting, assurances from my husband that all was well, and a fluttering of eyelids from Gunner that may have signaled a break in REM… and then we were back in Georgia. That was weird and I immediately opened our Google Maps to see how a psycho Tennessee/Georgia state line could have escaped my crazy thorough navigating.

Looking at my phone gave me a wonderful headache and all of a sudden the skies opened up dropped buckets of water directly on our windshield. For about 15 miles we could barely see and traffic crawled by ever so slowly. I looked at my Weather Channel App and sure enough it was raining in Atlanta… I then realized how ridiculous I was… I COULD SEE THE RAIN… OF COURSE IT WAS RAINING. I tried to close the app quick before my husband saw but it was too late… Sure enough he wasn’t planning on letting this silly moment pass… “Hey honey, could you check the weather app and see if it’s raining?”

“Oh honey, I was just checking the weather forecast for Bahamas”… Not hehehe! I did check the weather for our destination and it didn’t look good…60% chance of rain pretty much our whole trip. Bah!

Pecans and peaches seemed to be all the rage and it just seemed the semi trucks in Georgia were bigger than any I had ever seen! At any moment I expected Optimus Prime to transform and save us from obvious alien machine takeover. Waffle Houses and Zaxby’s seem to be the epitome of fine dining in the south and mandatory every 10 miles on the interstate. I couldn’t believe we had made it all the way to Atlanta with such a late start but sure enough there we were. It is a beautiful city, especially at night.

We made it through Atlanta and stopped at a hotel on the south side. Booked full… very nice. We jumped back on the interstate and drove a few more miles. Another hotel… full. Grrrrr… I was tired, my husband was tired, and the boys were wide awake. We were all hungry which never bodes well for anyone. We found a Quality Inn with ONE ROOM LEFT! Woohoo, yes, we’ll take it! A nice military (I’m retired Air Force) discount and we had a room for the night. Off to find some food and Applebees sounded perfect. We ate until we could fit no more and the boys remarked that it was only the second time in their life that they had been to an Applebees… For some reason I felt guilty… should I be taking my kids to enjoy the fine dining of Applebees more often? Jackson loves their ribs and Gunner, our burger connoisseur, said their burgers are “da bomb.” That’s good right?

I texted our neighbor and our friends at the farm to let them know we were still alive and made it all the way to Atlanta. They texted back with the enthusiastic congratulations I was hoping for and we all rolled our fat selves into our hotel room beds. We only had 5 hours to drive the next day so I was looking forward to sleeping in as late as I wanted.

4am… Up bright eye and bushy tailed… why does this keep happening? I tried to go back to sleep but there was NO WAY! I laid there giddy with excitement. At exactly 6:33am I finally got up and went down to the continental breakfast for some coffee and donuts (hopefully).

Coffee in hand (no donuts… what the what?!) I walked back into our room and kinda tried to be quiet. You know that kind of quiet where you want to wake others up but don’t want them to know that you woke them up on purpose? If you can make them think they woke up completely on their own then you get extra points of awesomeness! I opened the curtains just a bit and the sun burst forth into the room like a rampaging bull intent on waking my entire family up.

My husband did the Dracula seeing sunlight face and Jackson let out a “MOM!!!” in only a way a 16 year old can say “MOM!!!” Gunner continued in his slumber… how does an eleven year old sleep so much?

Everyone got up and we were on the road by 8am… not bad! We continued on in our adventure and made it into Florida. Sooooo exciting! Another state my sons had never been in. We had to make it down to Cape Canaveral and we were making excellent time, woohoo!

We stopped and ate at a Dennys (a must for the Conways on a roadtrip) and later stopped for a snack at a Dairy Queen along the way… it was kinda a Dairy Queen mixed with a flea market… weird but interesting. We made it to the Radisson by the port and checked into our room. VERY NICE! Once again, we were all super hungry so we headed down to the hotel restaurant. Gunner enjoyed his pink lemonade in a “fancy glass” and we all ate while chatting about getting on the ship tomorrow morning.

I wanted to get an umbrella and some ponchos due to the weather report of “total and utter destruction of vacation due to rain” so we ran to the nearest Wal-Mart.  Let’s see… we got some refillable water bottles to make sure we stayed hydrated, an umbrella (we decided not to do ponchos… who knows why), a duffel bag (I had some gift boxes of soaps that were to be given away to our homeschool group of sailors as raffle prize type things and I had neglected to plan a way to take them onto the ship… they were just stacked in the Mazda and were quite large), ginger root supplements to help with possible sea sickness, and light sweatshirts because it was mentioned that the theater and some inside places on the ship are kept quite cool.

We got back to the hotel… Kevin and the boys relaxed in the room soaking up some WiFi while I headed down to the hot tub to socialize and relax my achy muscles. There were a TON of homeschool families staying at this same hotel who were heading out the next day on the epic “2015 Not Back to School Homeschool Cruise” so I played a little game of “homeschooler or not a homeschooler” as people passed by. This game is harder than it looks because homeschoolers are starting to look more and more like normal people!

The sun was setting but the air was thick with humid warmth so I decided to head up and talk my sons into coming down for a dip in the pool. We met a few of the homeschool families and were even able to match up a face with the name for the fabulous Mazie Middleton, our travel planner lady! I have to take a moment to give absolute crazy great props to this woman for her patience, knowledge, and impressive enthusiasm as she fielded question after question from homeschool families over the past year leading up to this cruise. I’m totally going to plug her business information here because she was THAT GREAT! Any other cruises we do will be booked through this woman for sure.

Travel through Mazie! https://www.facebook.com/Mazies-Travel-This-Rock-An-Affiliate-of-Cruises-Tours-Unlimited-140956949311130/timeline/

We swam, I chatted, and the boys got bored so it was back up to the room to try to get some sleep before heading to the ship in the morning. I last remember seeing 1:32am on the clock before I dozed off…

4:08am… I kid you not. I am up bright eyed and bushy tailed! What is wrong with me? Surely my body needs more sleep than this. I lay there tossing and turning for an hour or two before finally getting up, owning the fact that there will be no more sleep this morning. I head down to the pool to sit and enjoy the dense warmth that only Florida can give. The humidity… wow! As I sit, enjoying the suffocating Florida air, I see several cats stroll around the rock ledges of the pool. Awwww reminds me of home… minus the rock ledges of the pool and air that is almost impossible to breathe unless you are equipped with a set of gills. I have my phone and am looking over Facebook when I see a mother in our cruise group post that she needed a few things from Walgreens… ooh, chance to meet new person and something to do… “I’m by the pool, let’s go!”  I reply to her message.

She comes on down, thankful for a friendly face with wheels. We head towards Walgreens. I need to look for another option for ginger root as I neglected to look closer at the bottle I had purchased the night before at Wal-Mart… capsules of ginger root powder… capsules made from gelatin… gelatin is mammal bone based and therefore these ginger root supplements are obviously trying to kill me (I am highly allergic to ingesting mammal products… I get t carry an epi-pen and everything, woohoo!). I was hoping to find a compressed tablet of ginger root powder at Walgreens but no such luck. Looks like I would have to open each capsule and dump in a glass of water to chug it down… pure powdered ginger root is a bit strong but hey, the face I made brought laughter from my family so it was almost worth it. I did grab a can of Lysol to take on the cruise to totally disinfect my room each day as my family and I carried every germ, virus, plague, and bacteria into our cabin from the ship at large. I tend to be a bit of a “people” germaphobe… oddly enough animal germs don’t bother me but people germs… ewwwwww! I had heard the stories of cruise ship sickness and I was bound and determined that my family would not fall prey.

We found a Starbucks after our Walgreens trip and coffee was consumed. Yummy! We got back to the hotel and sat and talked by the pool for a good long while. Kevin came down and reminded me it was time to pack up and catch the shuttle to the ship… time had flown as I chatted with this sweet new friend. We packed everything up and still had some time to kill so we ran over to Subway to get some drinks and subsequently a couple subs… my family can really throw down some food!

Mazie had arranged for those of us with vehicles to safely stow them with the hotel’s protection for the duration of the cruise and catch shuttles to the port free of charge! She also scored an amazing price on the hotel for the night, only $100 and a mere 5 minute drive from the port!

We loaded the shuttle at about 10:30am and within minutes we were gazing on our ship, the Royal Caribbean Enchantment of the Seas. It was huge! We grabbed our bags and headed in through Royal Caribbean customs. Birth certificates for everyone… check. Marriage certificate for Kevin and I to show my name change… check. Driver’s Licenses/permits for us 16 and older… check.  That’s it… we were through! Soooooooooo easy!!

We checked our three big duffel bags and they assured us they would make their way to our room on the ship. We waited for about 10 minutes for boarding and walking up the ramp onto the ship was so exciting! The ship was huge and quite beautiful. We settled on deck 4 in the centrum with its glass elevators, coffee shop, couches, and view of the beautiful ocean. Our room would not be ready until 1:30pm so the boys and I looked around the ship while Kevin relaxed by the big seaside windows.

Royal Caribbean has many great free drinks on the ship to include lemonade, apple and orange juice, water, regular coffee, and tea (hot and cold) but they also have “drink packages” you can get which include other kinds of drinks. I checked out the drink packages and we decided to go ahead and get the $22 per day drink package for Kevin, Jackson, and I after we saw that the coffee shop was a Starbucks and the ship had a ton of different fun soda pop flavors. This package would get us each unlimited pop, coffee (Starbucks fufu ones), non-alcoholoc cocktails/bar drinks, milkshakes, and bottles of water. Gunner is not a soda drinker and he was ecstatic with the fact that here was free unlimited lemonade so he didn’t want a drink package.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There were 11 decks to our ship and the top one included a rock climbing wall and trampolines… OH MY! Even though there were thousands of people boarding the ship it didn’t seem crowded at all. Where were all the people going? Perhaps up to deck 10 with the two pools, 4 hot tubs, and huge movie screen? Maybe the Solarium with the indoor pool and hot tubs? Windjammer café perhaps for lunch with more food than you could ever imagine from every continent? Who knows but I can confirm that very few were hanging around us in the centrum. Was it my crazy “I am so excited I could throw up” vibe that I was giving off?

I gazed out the windows hoping to see some dolphins or seals but saw instead a dark cloud moving ever so slowly towards our ship. I put my phone on airplane mode, sat back, and relaxed…And so it begins…

 

Sail on young man, sail on…

~Jhenna

 

 

Installment 1… yup, that’s how I roll… in installments…

How does one describe one of the best weeks of their life?

For me it starts with having my husband and my sons close while surrounded by God’s glorious creation… oh and a never-ending supply of spectacular food that I didn’t have to cook or clean up after!

We did it folks… we went on an epic vacation. It all started 11 months ago when the homeschooling tunnel of fantasticness (I think I just made up a new word) fed us an intriguing opportunity to take a cruise to the Bahamas at a “There has to be a catch… you gotta be kidding me” rate. It was to be dubbed the “2015 Not Back to School Homeschool Cruise” because we would set sail in September, after almost all the public school kids had returned to their desks. I was still thinking that this was too good to be true… Hmmmm September… is it like 20 degrees in the Caribbean in September? Perhaps September is horrible hurricane season? Do the starfish invade the islands in September? How could we possibly be taking a cruise? We aren’t fancy enough for a cruise!

The Conways (us) signed on in late 2014 and excitedly told the kids on Christmas morning. They were mildly intrigued though worried about the possibility of pirates and motion sickness. The months seemed to drag on as I readied our birth certificates, asked question after question to our amazing cruise planners (props to you Shelly Rae Mabe and Mazie Middleton),  and tried to get my husband and kids super excited.  I ensured none of my does (female goats) were anywhere near a buck for the months of April and May so we wouldn’t have any kids born while we were away. What normal person has to think about such things when planning their vacation? I’m officially goat crazy!

When you have a farm, even if it’s just a hobby farm, it’s soooo challenging to get away for even a day or two.  We were incredibly blessed to have a couple offer to stay at the farm and work their tail ends off while we lounged in the Atlantic for a week. I was still thinking it would be march of the jellyfish season or the “month of algae” in the Atlantic but I figured a cruise is a cruise whether or not we would get to put our toes in the Atlantic. In all seriousness, we do not deserve to have such friends and blessings but I wasn’t going to look this gift horse in the mouth so I readied our friends a few weeks before our departure.

Time flew by as summer baked us into a beautiful brown. Before we knew it September was upon us!

The night before we were to set out for the 12 hour drive to Florida our sons were FINALLY excited! To say I was excited is the understatement of the century! I couldn’t sleep, I had barely any appetite, and adrenaline was coursing through my body like I was being chased by a lion… a lion with an ice cold Coke begging me to lounge in a hammock on a paradise island! No meal making, no laundry, no animal chores, no housecleaning, no “formal” homeschooling, no college homework, no emails, no phone calls, no hobby farm business…  NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING! TO make things even better, we decided at the last moment to take the Mazda (my husband’s main vehicle) instead of the minivan (obviously my main vehicle) so I would not be driving! Happy day oh very happy day!

4am… I’m up bright eyed and bushy tailed after having drifted off to a restless sleep a mere three hours before. I plan on us heading out around 6am to get that ever popular “early start” for our long drive to Florida. Candy didn’t cooperate during milking as it was obviously “too early” for her to be awake so it naturally took longer than usual. I spent an extra long time with my face buried in my horses’ necks as I knew I wouldn’t be getting that enchanting aroma for a whole week (talk about withdrawal!). I did some cleaning… some more farm chores… and well, I just don’t know what else I did but it was quickly 9am and the boys were starting to wake up and wonder why we weren’t on the road.

“Just one more thing to do” was muttered over and over again… my family knows to expect this from me. However… when it rolled around to 1pm and we still weren’t on the road everyone started to wonder if this vacation was still a “go”.

1:30pm, Saturday… we are on the road, headed to wherever we could get this first day of driving. I looked in the rear view mirror as we left the cats, dogs, horses, chickens, goats, sheep, rabbits, and guineas and everything I am comfortable with in the dust of the gravel driveway. I bet they all thought we would never return… or maybe they didn’t care because I fed them an extra big breakfast out of total guilt for leaving.

Our friends would be there shortly for love and cuddles with all the critters!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I said a prayer to God for safe travels, safety for our animals and the couple who would be holding down the fort, for my dear friend to hold her baby in one more week (she was due any moment), for the amazing blessing of this trip, and for His wisdom, mercy, grace, and patience with us as we set forth on this adventure.

Heading to Florida and then on a cruise… what could go wrong?

See ya tomorrow for installment #2!

Jhenna… traveler yonder

The value of a neighbor… how can one even begin to describe the true value of a great neighbor?

Today I sent a simple text to my neighbor, “Can I come over and return your sander?” I had borrowed this sander a few days ago when I couldn’t find my own sander. I had a table I wanted to refinish and my neighbor has more tools than one could ever imagine from her husband’s time as a builder, tinkerer, and all around manly man. She not only had one sander but a whole cupboard full of sanders of all types and sizes. I picked one that was exactly the same as my sander to cut down on the time (and possible YouTube video search) of how to change the sandpaper.

Her text back was simple “Yes.”

I headed over with her sander in one hand and my cell phone in the other (it’s almost a ¼ of a mile walk, you never know when one will have to make an emergency call because of a random deer or Canadian goose attack.

Three of my twenty-six goats were following me and I knew they would go straight for my neighbor’s roses if I allowed them to continue so I made a quick detour to our “goat escapee” pen by the garden. This pen is one we have for when goats escape their regular enclosures/paddocks and we either can’t figure out how they are escaping or I’m in too much of a hurry to fill in the tunnel they dug out with their tiny little contraband spoons smuggled to them by the cats. Elliott is a constant visitor to the “goat escapee” pen… he’s like the Andy Griffith Show Otis of The Shepherd Hobby Farm.

Elliott, Scipio, and Caesar are put up in the “goat escapee” pen with fresh hay and water and I continue my trek to my neighbor’s house.

Nala and Fuzzy, our livestock guardian dogs, leave all their responsibilities in the dust and happily trot out ahead of me hoping to sneak in when my neighbor opens the door. I ring the doorbell and there is a flurry of activity and barking behind the door. It opens a crack and I see a dog nose and hear a cheerful, “Come on in.” Had she taught the dogs to open the door or had she learned t throw her voice? I could have sworn she invited me in from the opposite side of the house…

I head in and have three large dog noses all up in my business. I caress their super soft heads and silky ears.  After quickly handing my neighbor her sander I plop down on the floor for a belly rubbing session on her gorgeous black lab. Another dog comes over for attention and some face licks while the third dog heads to get a toy to lure the second dog away so the third dog can sneak in for a good booty scratch. I pet and rub and rub and pet. A little scratch her and another there. Dogs are on their backs and paws are on my shoulders pleading me to continue… so I do. Dog hair is going EVERYWHERE and I apologize to my sweet neighbor as she tells me all about how her Labrador just lost his toenail (OUCH!).

My own two dogs pace outside back and forth from the door to the windows trying to get my attention… my neighbor’s attention… the dogs’ attention… ANYONES ATTENTION!

My neighbor and I chat about this and that… Tropical Storm Erika, seasons, gardens, flowers, bees, hummingbirds, dogs, cooking, goats, projects, health, vacations… ya know, all that stuff that makes up the chit chat you have when you both just really want to be in each other’s company.

And then she said something that will stay with me forever… we were talking about a vacation that our family will be going on and she said “I miss you when you guys are gone.” She misses me… my neighbor misses me. Truth be told, I miss her as well when she heads out on a vacation. I love when she comes home and I love hearing about her adventures. We care for each other’s houses and dogs while we are each on vacation and we meet for lunch on the same day every week  together (me, her, and my two sons). If a day or two go by and we haven’t checked in with each other via text, call, or meet up by the garden we reach out to “check in.” I can’t even begin to explain how this relationship feels so natural and mutually beneficial when we’ve only known each other for six years!

When I have a campfire she texts me to make sure everything is ok because she sees smoke coming from over by our place. If I accidentally have my phone on silent and don’t hear the text she comes over on her way to get groceries just to be sure all is ok. She’s not being nosey folks, she’s being loving and I learn new ways to be loving every day from this woman. When I’m at the store I try to remember to text her to see if she needs anything because I am following her lead of how to be more Christ-like and kind.

So you may ask why I go on and on about this neighbor of mine… well, I do so because it was just a really good day with my neighbor and it may encourage others out there to reach out to their neighbor or a person they would like to get to know. Looking for ways to serve others sets such a fine example for your children and building relationships with those in close proximity to you is important to foster that sense of community.

“The Bible tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves. Surely part of loving in this way is trying to understand what another person wants us to understand. I may not understand perfectly and I may not agree, but if I love you I should try to know what it is you wish I could know.” –Kevin DeYoung

Every moment I’m with my neighbor I have my listening ears on so I can truly hear and try to understand what it is she wants me to know. There is wisdom with this woman beyond measure. It is a wisdom that comes from reading God’s word, living a Christ centered life, and going through trial after trial with eyes and heart focused on Christ. Do you have someone in your life like this? If not, get one! But please, stay away from my neighbor… she’s mine, all mine 😉

Toodles and may the goat be with you…

~Jhenna

Ambassadors, yes that’s what we are. We are ambassadors for the hardworking, plant and animal loving hobby farmer ladies out there. We animals of The Shepherd Hobby Farm serve to protect and teach the ways of living off the land (at least between Wal-Mart and Rural King visits), appreciating the bounty God has given, and collaborative living with hobby farmer ladies, fellow animals, and nature.

My name is Maverick and I am a rooster. A really amazing rooster. I’d like to share our day with you in hopes of continuing education to the masses about the importance of all things farming! It is our duty to teach others where their food comes from so they appreciate our sacrifice and thank God for the gifts they are given in us.

A few of us had the incredible opportunity to visit a local school where about 60 kids and adults were dazzled by our brilliance, educated about life on The Shepherd Hobby Farm, and practically fell in love with our clever antics and splendor.

In attendance on this trip of epic proportions were the following:

Maverick: Prettiest rooster on the whole planet. Big fella (not fat, very muscular) who likes to live life on the edge and laugh in the face of authority at every opportunity. Technically I am a Partridge Cochin rooster but that barely scratches the surface of who I am as an individual. I’m like an onion… many layers… but I don’t stink and I’ve never seen the movie Shrek.

Hilda: My (Maverick) main squeeze and one of the best layin’ girls on the farm. Hilda’s lineage taps deep into German roots… so she says… we have yet to confirm her story from Ancestry.com.

Sweet Clementine: This girl is a real sweetheart and has just started her layin’ on the farm. A barnyard mix of something black and white speckled with smooth legs Sweet Clementine keeps the hobby farmer lady happy with her cuddly chicken ways.

Jessie and Pat: Two brave juveniles who volunteered for this trip. These boys (or girls… too early to tell yet) are at the top of their class in scratching and pecking and look to grow into invaluable members of the poultry brigade at the farm.

Various chicks: These kids refuse to be named as they were playing hooky from chick school this day and mother hen would have had their tail feathers if she found out they jumped in with Jessie and Pat at the last minute! They missed their lesson on dust bathing so they will surely grow into the dirtiest chickens on the planet.

Scipio Africanus and Julius Caesar: Twin Nigerian dwarf buckling goats known around the farm as “Trouble 1” and “Trouble 2” or just plain Scipio and Caesar. They are the sons of Ella and the late Mike, turn heads on every stroll, and tend to bring the party with them wherever they go.

While at the school we explained the lifecycle of the chicken, why there are goats and other animals at The Shepherd Hobby Farm, and the importance of supporting all farmers; hobby and professional. There were some remarkable questions from the kids and we even got some fan mail with questions upon returning to the farm! I’d like to take the opportunity to share a few of the questions from that day and after, as well as the answers with you all…

Q. Do you need a rooster for hens to lay eggs?

A. Nope! Though I am amazing and beautiful, hens will lay eggs whether I am around or not. Laying eggs is what they do. Even meat chickens (raised for meat) will lay eggs if you let them live long enough. A hen is hatched out with EVERY egg she will ever lay in her life already inside her little chick body. She grows, and after about 5 months of age, each day one of those eggs gets bigger and bigger, creates a hard shell, and is laid by the hen. When her eggs run out she will never lay another. What do you need a rooster for? If you want to hatch any of your eggs into chicks then you need me, the rooster, to fertilize those eggs while they are still inside the hen.

Q. Why do you have goats on your farm?

A. We have goats because we like for them to eat down our poison ivy and other brush in the woods. This way us chicken can easily go through and scratch the ground for scrumptious worms and bugs. The hobby farmer lady milks these goats and makes some astounding soaps and lotions as well but I’m quite sure their main job on the farm is to help us get to those worms and insects.

Q. Are brown shelled eggs healthier than white shelled eggs?

A. Not necessarily. It all depends what the individual hen eats. Some breeds lay white eggs, some lay brown and there are even some chickens who lay pink, blue, yellow, or green shelled eggs! If a white egg layer eats the same thing as a brown egg laying chicken then the two eggs will have an almost identical nutritional value. The best diet for a chicken is one in which they can free range and eat plants, insects, worms, fruit, vegetables, and everything else that looks good to them. Personally, I like those Easter color shelled egg layin’ hens… they tend to be a spirited bunch of ladies always ready for an adventure.

Q. What is the difference between a hobby farm and a real farm?

A. In my opinion a hobby farm is one where the hobby farmer lady has time to talk to us, hold us, and spend some extra time each day to make sure we are happy and are living an enriched life. I often hear Mr. hobby farmer guy say a hobby farm is one which takes your money instead of makes you money. Maybe a real professional farm makes money? Yes, I’m sure that’s it. A real professional farm makes a profit and has to put in very long hours on a tractor with animals as far as the eye can see. Oh and professional real farms have cows… we have no cows. Pigs, yes a real farm has pigs. We have no pigs. Why don’t we have pigs? Another question for another day because I need to ask the hobby farmer lady why we don’t have pigs. I think we want pigs. Do you support our want for pigs?

Do you have any other questions you would like me to answer? Feel free to send them to my secretary at jhenna@simplehobbyhomesteading.com . She will be sure I get them and I promise to answer quickly and precisely with all my knowledge swimming around in this handsome head of mine!

I took some unbelievable pictures of this day but the hobby farmer lady says there is an issue with attachments right now on the blog and she will have to upload them another time. I will be sure to remind her, no worries. She likes to be reminded of such things by me crowing at about 2 a.m…. it seems to be her favorite reminder time.

~Maverick, the rooster, the best rooster ever.

So when I started this endeavor in 2009 I knew next to nothing that would serve useful in the way of hobby farming. What I did know was this… The prayer and hard work combination could move mountains… or in my case, build a hobby farm.

I didn’t start out wanting a hobby farm. Me, my husband, our two sons and our one German Shepherd (Katja) moved to this house in the southern Indiana woods. We had come from California (via a couple month vacation in Wisconsin) and I was overjoyed to be back in the Midwest… my old stomping grounds.

Within a week of moving in to our house a stray cat had kittens in our garage. She was quite tame and let us interact with her and the kittens as much as we wanted so naturally we weighed them every day, gave them names, did our own little “vet checks” with them (lifelong dream as a kid was to be a veterinarian AND a lawyer AND Presidents of the United States AND a teacher), and made ourselves the biggest nuisance ever to this poor mama and her kittens. One kitten went to family in Wisconsin, one passed away just last year, and the rest we still have and care for here on The Shepherd Hobby Farm, including Mommy Cat (yes, that’s her name, forgive us as we were new to the whole “coming up with great names” thing).

Rabbits followed, and then there was this goat that we got Jackson for his birthday in 2010. Elliott (his goat) needed a buddy so there was Pedro and since then we have gotten a few more (yes,, we are up to 25 goats now).

I went to pick up a baby goat at a farm a couple years back and came home with two lambs… one is getting ready to be a first time mama at five years old.

There were more cats and kittens adopted/found, vetted (by us and professionals), spayed/neutered, and loved.

My lifelong dream was fulfilled the day I brought home my first horse, Mercedez, a Tennessee Walking Horse mare who I ride only bareback and feel completely at home on despite any lessons or training in horseback riding (she and I did go to a workshop once and it was fun but we never really got around to riding, just groundwork). She was joined by Yoda, an old quarter horse who was a great guy. Since then he has passed (EPM) and we got Pepsi, a young mix of a horse from a great horse rescue.

There were more dogs… two more German Shepherds, a Great Pyrenees, and a golden retriever to be exact. Oh and the chickens. Yes, early on we got chickens. And ducks. Ooh and guineas! There were more rabbits and some guinea pigs.

Now, well now we have a hobby farm… The Shepherd Hobby Farm. When did we become a hobby farm? I don’t know, probably around the time of cat #6 or rabbit #4… possibly goat #7 pushed us into hobby farm status. Maybe the chickens? Yes, definitely when we got the chickens.

#1 “Established On” Year

Why do I go on and on about all of this? Well, it’s quite simple really… I want to make an “established on…” sign. Ya know, the year we were established as a hobby farm to display on the barn or a neat The Shepherd Hobby Farm sign at the top of the lane! But every sign has to have an Est. XXXX entry… what would ours be? The first thing every hobby farm has to have is an “established on” timeframe.  This provides some focus (whether it me narrow or quite loose is totally up to you) as to how your life will be run.

Maybe it’s the day we drove down our long curvey lane and knew instantly we had found our forever home.

All I know is that we are certainly a hobby farm today and every day we move forward in a steady progression towards a more satisfying life for us and our animals. How do we do it?

One…Foot…In…Front…Of…The… Other

Every day. No exceptions. There’s no days off on a farm. There’s no day of complete rest. God graces us with work to keep us healthy, humble, and moving. He blesses us with animals to keep us subservient to something other than ourselves. These animals are a constant reminder that we are to serve, to care for, and to provide for their every need.

Working alongside my sons not only on the farm but in their newly found interest in my dog training business I am filled with hope for our future generation. A hope that they live to serve and help other others, man and beast.

#2 Gumption

According to Encarta Dictionary (and I’m guessing Miriam Webster would agree) gumption is “the courage to take what action is needed and practical common sense and presence of mind.” Yes, that is totally what you need to be a hobby farmer. When I have a goat that is in trouble while kidding I have to have the courage to take what action is needed whether that be waiting things out a bit to see if the doe (female goat) can do it on her own or  go in and give a helping hand. Do I help that little chick hatch out of its tough egg shell or let it do it on its own knowing that the tough survive far better than those helped along in that case?

#3  Five gallon buckets

Seriously, just as one cannot survive without food and water I don’t think a hobby farmer would last long without their five gallon buckets. I know here on The Shepherd Hobby Farm we like have to keep things simple either because we want to or we don’t have the funds at that time to upgrade. Would I love running water up at the barn? You betcha! Am I going to pay someone to do it for me? Heck no (at least not at this moment). Am I going to learn how to do it myself and then go ahead and do it? Sure, when another 15 hours get added to the day and I don’t have about 400 others things far more pressing to do. I fill 5 gallon water buckets with water and haul them to the various places they need to go. The goats, the sheep, chickens’ waterers etc.  Hauling feed is also best done in five gallon buckets. The horses know the sound of their oats and pellets just as the goats know the sound of their pellet mixture. I think even the cardinals and blue jays have their “sunflower seeds in a bucket” sound memorized. When a goat’s on the milking stand nothing makes a better seat than a flipped over 5 gallon bucket. Need to haul compost soil from the compost pile to the garden? Enter the 5 gallon bucket! Gathering worms for a fishing expedition? Hello 5 gallon bucket, will you hold my worms? You will? Awesome, thanks! The chicks escaped out of the brooder and are running everywhere… QUICK, GRAB A FIVE GALLON BUCKET TO HOLD THEM AS WE GATHER THEM UP!

#4 The quartet of garden tools: Shovel, post hole digger, rake and hoe.

I’m cheating slightly here by putting four in one but it’s my blog and I can do what I want to. Shovel, yup, kinda obvious. Killing dangerous rattle snakes or other poisonous critters (i.e. any spider that I see and most crickets because they give me the heebie jeebies) and also great for digging holes in the garden, shoveling rock and mulch anywhere and everywhere, shoveling horse, sheep, goat, chicken, and rabbit poo into empty 50 pound feed sacks to let compost and then sell as fertilizer (your welcome for that awesome idea). The post hole digger is an often overlooked necessity. If you are going to have a garden or animals you are going to need fencing. Every critter, foreign and domestic, known to man wants to come eat your garden the minute you look away. Some crazy hobby farmers like me don’t yet have a tractor with one of them fancy post hole diggers so we do it the old fashioned way and call it “bicep and tricep workout day” when we dig post holes with our trusty post hole digger. It works really well and does a perfect size deep hole for posts! Rake, ummm yup, another basic one but utilized almost continually on a simple hobby farm. Raking poo into piles to shovel into wheelbarrows or empty feed bags.The hoe, my favorite. I’m a “no till” kind of lady in the garden. Like my arthworms to keep as many homes as they can so I just lightly hoe the weeds and the rows where I need to plant and heavily mulch the areas in between with my composted material or mulch that we have the local tree service drop off for us.

#5 Pickup or a small trailer

Yes, I am that mom you see driving a minivan pulling a trailer with a huge roundbale of hay in it. Don’t judge me and stop staring! Trips to the dump, getting hay, picking up a great deal on a new chicken coop, whatever you need to haul a truck or a trailer is a necessity! Doesn’t have to be pretty but it has to have good tires and a bit of gumption of its own.

Bah, sorry for the novel but I gotta say with these 5 things you too can run your very own hobby farm. Throw some pallets and cattle panels into that mix and you have our farm today! There’s plenty of things that would make things easier and faster but I kinda like the simple speed with which we run here… it helps to slow me down and lets me watch the plants grow.

Keep on keepin’ on my friends!

~Jhenna

Here we are… wayward animals in the snow. It all started quite innocently enough. A light rain turned into a steady rain. We all ran for our shelters and watched as it filled our water buckets and turned everything a muddy icky mess. Then there was a downpour and the temperature started plummeting. The rain turned to sleet and then something magical happened… gigantic puffs of white fell from the sky. We ventured out to check it out and were quite surprised by how it stuck to our nose and eyelashes. Almost like raindrops on kittens and whiskers on roses… wait, is that right? Bright paper packages and warm woolen ribbons…Oh well, you know what I mean… it all seemed so innocent and jovial.

But then it took a dark turn… literally, the sun went down and the temperature continued to drop. We could see our breath and icicles began to form on our chins. The tips of our ears and our hooves started getting a wee bit chilly. This was not fun. The once muddy ground got hard, really hard. It was a frozen ice skating rink and here we stood, without our skates! The heat lamps were in the “not lit” position and we pleaded with them to light. We needed some warmth!

If we wanted to get to our feed and water we would have to traverse this despicable stuff. Upon first glance it looked airy, soft, and enveloping. Almost like stepping on a cloud and being lifted to the warm heavens while harps play an enchanting melody.

Shocker, it’s not. It’s cold, it clumps in our hoofs, around our fur, and seems to work itself into every little crevice known to man and beast. It is a quicksand like sinking feeling with an icy undercurrent just waiting to send us sliding to our sure doom. And it gets worse…

Have you ever been a smallish dwarf doe goat with an incredibly full udder trying to walk through twelve feet of snow? Ok, maybe only two feet, but that foot of snow is just as cold as twelve feet! Or how about an extremely well endowed still smallish dwarf buck goat… you get the picture. Things get cold… like really cold. We don’t jump because we’re happy, we jump so our bits don’t freeze off! Sure, laugh it up…

This is Molly (the sheep) and I just want to make something very clear… goats are evil. I was minding my own business, happily munching hay when all of a sudden a massive ball of snow came out of nowhere! How do they do it, how do they throw a snowball with thise itty bitty hooves? Hit me right in the face and all they did was snicker. Luckily for them I am mature and refuse to partcipate in such nonsence… although, they do have to sleep some time… would be a shame for a prank to be pulled when they are all snug as a goat bug in a straw rug… Oh yes, the cover of darkness shall be my stage!

 

Farmer lady to the rescue! She came out like a knight in shining armor with buckets upon buckets of hot molasses water and put them up IN OUR SHELTERS! No more wading through that horrible white stuff.  With a single wave of her hand the lights of heat were lit and the warmth cut through the icy chill of the night air. She added hay and a little something with a kick to our grain… what is C-A-Y-E-N-N-E and why does it kinda make my tongue burn? Good news though, it’s GMO and gluten free! We animal residents of The Shepherd Hobby Farm are very serious about our GMO and gluten free things… no one wants any of those Good Morning  Olives and gluten totally makes hair grow on our chests. We don’t need any more hair… we are hairy enough as it is.

The dogs trotted over to see how we were doing. They laughed as they always do and called us wimps. Wimps? Really? Who’s the wimp who will most assuredly be cuddled up in front of the fireplace in about 2.3 seconds? Yup, those stupid dogs. We ignore them and jump on the lady farmer for attention. She gives the best neck rubs! Seriously, best ever! Hah, take that dogs… she’s not rubbing your neck is she?

The farmer lady pulls a huge bottle of hot milk from her secret hiding place in her coveralls and we all attack. Oh yummy yummy yummy, that stuff is so yummy but she always gives it to the BABIES! Seriously? The babies? Now there’s your real wimps!

Caesar the goat kid rejected by the ever increasingly evil Ella got first dibs on the bottle as he continued to jump on the farmer lady’s back as she tried to feed Webster the visiting lamb. Tell us again why we have a lamb visiting the farm… really? He seems t be a reject of some sort as well so he gets along quite well with Caesar… birds of a feather… we’re just sayin’.

Babies’ bellies are full and Scipio and Caesar (brothers) are scooped up and put in an enclosure with a super soft pine shavings bed and extra heat. Totally not fair but truth be told those two little boys were fast becoming icicles because they kept playing out in the snow. Webster was scooped up despite cries of argument. Apparently Caesar and Scipio use him as their own personal trampoline so he will spend the night inside. I wonder how that will go…

It is getting late and we are all tired. Fresh straw has been laid and hay is at the ready whenever our late night munching fits kick in. Water is still piping hot and farmer lady will most assuredly refresh it every hour throughout the night, correct? A goat can dream! Night night!

~Sincerely, the critters of The Shepherd Hobby Farm

It was the best of days… it was the worst of days… nope, scratch that… it was pretty much just the worst of days! In labor with twins for just over 48 hours… yup that’s pretty much the worst of days… and nights!

 

It’s been five long months since that rendezvous under the hickory tree with the ever romantic (and half my age!) Mike. I was supposed to be swept away by Sir Sebastian but Mike made his way to me under a full moon and hooting owls… the sparks were too hard to ignore and Sebastian was too busy munching hay to take much notice.

 

Fast forward five months and I am a huge hippo of a doe, ten times my usually petite and smokin’ hot self and just feeling cranky. If hooves could swell mine would have been swollen. I developed an odd craving for tree bark and stripped every tree in my paddock. YUM!

 

The farmer lady became quite interested in my developing udder about two weeks ago and kept promising, “It won’t be long now.” Really? How does she know that. Last time I checked she did not go to veterinary school and if I see her pull that Goat Medicine book out one more time to look something up I’m going to pee all over it, throw it in the fire pit and dance on its ashes.

 

Look at the book… poke and prod at me. Look at the book again, feel my tummy. Book check, pry open my mouth and look at my gums. Fantastic book, pulling my eyelids all over the place muttering, “Very nice, just as they should be.” Yes, lady, they are eyes, of course they are where they should be… on my head.  STOP TOUCHING ME! And while we are at it… if my tail is down it means I don’t want you looking at my behind. It is not an invitation to lift my tail up and take long creepy stare downs at my nether regions… QUIT IT!

 

So I knew something was starting when I began getting some pains in my sides and lost my appetite Sunday afternoon. The farmer lady checked me over and fussed over me for quite a while. Admittedly, I get a little standoffish as I always do when I’m in labor. I just want to be left alone to do my thing… I really don’t need an audience for the “miracle of birth.” Try telling that to midwife farmer lady who thinks none of us goats can give birth without her assistance.

 

The contractions started hard Sunday night and continued through ALL of Monday and most of Tuesday. I was kept cheerful constant company (woohoo… yes, that’s sarcasm… goat sarcasm) by the ever so helpful (not) farmer lady and her absolutely atrocious Goat Medicine book. I guess this kidding was to be “by the book.”  She set the book down on the ground at one point to take a look at me and I tried to waddle over to pee all over it but only made it two steps before the contractions stopped me dead in my tracks. These were painful, worse than the ones with Baine. These hurt… and they hurt bad.

 

Tuesday night things were getting real… The farmer lady rubbed my neck and brought me a bucket of hot water with some sort of sweet stuff in it… the elixir was incredible and I drank deeply. The hay was fluffed, towels gathered, heat lamp turned on and I munched on some grain, red raspberry leaves (smart thinking to farmer lady to save some of those from summer’s harvest… did your book tell you to do that?), and hay while the farmer lady messed around on her phone.

 

Then the farmer lady decided to poke and prod and check me out. Apparently I wasn’t “progressing” as much as she would have liked and she mentioned that it might not be until tomorrow morning before these babies come out. On her way out of my kidding suite she gave her cheerful, “Don’t worry Ella Bella it will be soon, so very soon.” She brought Fuzzy Bear in to keep me company and prevent the cats from annoying me.

 

I told Fuzzy Bear the plan… these kids were coming out… she seemed to agree but looked quite concerned as to what her part in all of this was going to be. She watched as I gave birth to my two beautiful boys and even helped me clean them up and dry them off. She truly was a help to this new mother!

 

About an hour later guess who showed up… the farmer lady. She was so excited and surprised and I have to admit I was quite proud of the job I had done. She scooped up the boys and hugged all over them. She gave Fuzzy some nice pats and gave me the best neck rubbing you could ever imagine… blissful!

 

She checked the boys and dipped their umbilical cords in a red solution of some sort which I licked off immediately when her back was turned. When will she understand that I’ve got this all covered… sheesh farmer ladies these days!

 

There you have it… the birth story of Caesar and Scipio (wow, who comes up with these names?). The farmer lady isn’t too thrilled with BOYS (apparently girls are treasured on The Shepherd Hobby Farm) and she talks of selling these two boys so I am devising my plan now… Operation “Keep all goats on the farm FOREVER”… we will call it “Operation Bunny Eyes”. The boys are doing well so far with their precious jumping, hopping, cuddling in her lap, and falling all over themselves and each other… well played little bucks, well played!

 

~Ella

~Via Farmer Lady Jhenna

 

Fridays on the Farm… From the Paws of Fluffy, Super Kitty of the Midwest

Life on the farm can get pretty dull and there are times I just need to create some “drama” for my own entertainment. Twas a cold evening in the depths of December and the woman who feeds me, cuddles me, and sees to my heart’s every desire was giving the huge monstrosity of a dog they call “Axel” a bath inside. He had found mud hole after mud hole to wallow in, run through, and pretty much adorn like a second fur coat… the lady was having none of it and the punishment was the dreaded bath.

I watched as she led him down the long, dark, lonely hallway to “the room that shall not be named.” Horrible things happen in this room… teeth brushing, washing (WITH IMMERSION INTO WATER!), hand washing with soap (feline saliva is obviously the only “soap” ever needed in life)… all sorts of things that go against all things feline.

I know it may sound like I felt bad for this big galoot but trust me, I did not. A mere 10 minutes before this I was the one he was chasing through the woods, mud puddles, and across the horse paddock with way too many mine fields of steamy stinkiness. All the other cats claim that if I would stop, the chase would end, but I tried that once and was immediately licked within an inch of my life by the biggest and wettest tongue known to cat kind. That Axel has got to hold some sort of record for size and moisture level of a canine mouth, seriously. No sir, I’ll take my chances with a good run. He’s huge, he’ll never catch me.

The race ended as I ran and hid under the minivan and the Einstein Axel ran smack dab into the side of the van. Apparently someone was running on nose scenting alone and didn’t even see the huge vehicle coming. The thud heard around the world brought the woman out of the house and a close inspection of the side of the van.  Muttering of “another dent” was music to my ears as I figured this would surely cause the big galoot to be banished to the interior of the home and out of my business. The fact that he had to get a bath was icing on my tuna fish cake.

I heard the water start running and that’s when my devious plan came to me… I would wait just long enough for him to be all soaped up and I would simply shut off the water pump in the garage. This was going to be EPIC!

I waited about 5 minutes, long enough for him to get drenched and properly soaped up and *flip*, to the “off” position the switch went. Sure is nice when light switches that run pumps do not require opposable thumbs.

One thing I hadn’t thought of was how this little prank would affect the mood of the woman giving the “Axel’ the bath. Apparently, she did not find this funny. I sat outside the green room window and watched as the bathroom door opened and the woman stomped out. There sat Axel, soapy and sudsy from head to tail sitting in the shower. When the woman left the bathroom his pitiful yodeling began. Oh…my…goodness… if only you could have heard it! He had no dignity left, none whatsoever.  Oh how I laughed!

Well, I laughed until the woman came out to the garage, turned on the switch and nothing happened… Nothing. The pump didn’t turn back on and the water did not start to flow back up from the great keeper of the water below the ground. Nothing happened. There was much muttering, some words I didn’t recognize and oddly enough when I came over for some love, cuddles, and behind the ear rubs I was pushed aside without any regard! Pfft… who does she think she is?

Apparently I had killed the pump. Well, until now, no one knew “who” killed the pump and I’m still not certain it wasn’t just a crazy fluke-like coincidence. Nevertheless, the pump was dead and the woman was not happy. Axel was certainly not happy. However, I was quite happy as I perched on the woman’s shoulder, helping her try to figure out the inner workings of the pump house. Pipes and valves were a maze of confusion but I knew we could get through this together. I felt I needed to help fix what I very well could be responsible for breaking.

As we poked around I was soothed by the pitiful whining of Axel in the shower, sitting in sudsy dismay. I almost lost my balance on her shoulder at one point but don’t worry, I dug my claws in and was able to steady myself.  The woman’s shriek when the claws came out certainly didn’t help me any but I forgive her. She stood up and I was forced to jump off and wait further instructions and the “gameplan.”

Imagine my surprise when the gameplan involved going inside and talking to that husband of hers. What was she thinking? WE COULD DO THIS! She and I… cat and woman, woman and cat. It would be fun playing plumber!

They got into the car and went to town for supplies, leaving the rest of us behind to listen to the yodeling cries of Axel which were starting to really get on all of our nerves. We get it, you are alone and uncomfortable sitting among a bunch of bubbles in the bathtub, stop being such a baby!

The man and woman came back all chipper and ready to tackle the project. Their breath reeked of Starbucks and their “Good job honey”, “Oh you are so good at this sweety”, and “I’m so glad I’m married to you” were enough to make me cough up a hairball. Disgusting, seriously disgusting. This was certainly not the drama I was looking for. The man bent down to take a closer look at the dead motor and I prepared to jump on for a closer inspection as well. As I prepared to leap the woman jumped in and grabbed me out of mid air. Apparently the man is not a fan of cats on his shoulder or his back, huh…weird… She put me down and I attempted the jump again. Thwarted by the woman once more, wow, she was quick. Several more attempts from different angles and directions did not have my desired effect of a place on the man’s back or shoulder for a closer look and finally the woman took me to the house and put me inside where I was to stay until the project in the garage was completed.

Fine, I didn’t want to help anyways with their stupid project. I’d rather jump up on the counters and tip over glasses of water… yes, two can play this game. What game were we playing again? I forget but take that you horrible red and white can of brown sweet liquid… on the carpet you go! Why sure, I’ll have a couple licks of that cake on the counter, no one will be the wiser. Toilet water, my favorite! I appreciate the new scratching post in the living room however the two boys are sitting on it and that is quite annoying. Luckily there is a whole back to it that just begs to be climbed like a Navy Seal climbing a helicopter hanging ladder!

Project complete, new pump, new piping, new switch and now we just wait for all the plumbing glue or whatever to set and cure before we test for leaks or “just plain screwing it all up.” Apparently we have a plumber coming in two days (It’s Friday night right now) just in case. I’m going to bet we’ll need him to come as they refused any of my advice or shoulder help.

We wait, Axel whines, cake is eaten (no, I didn’t feel the need to let them know I helped myself), and spills are mopped up.

The appointed hour arrives and the woman and I head out to flip the switch and see if we have water… and…

 

WE DO! WE HAVE WATER! I’m not sure why the celebration, there was always plenty of water to drink in the various buckets and horse trough outside but apparently no one wants to bathe in the horse trough from what I am understanding.

Do you think I am thanked for my help? No, absolutely not. The first thing she does is go in and finish Axel’s bath! Wow, I know how I rate!

So yup, not quite the comedy show I had planned but it all worked out to my satisfaction in the end. Axel was in misery, I got to sit on the woman’s shoulder, and I enjoyed my little party time in the house. Life sure is grand on the farm!