Simple Hobby Homesteading

Here we are… wayward animals in the snow. It all started quite innocently enough. A light rain turned into a steady rain. We all ran for our shelters and watched as it filled our water buckets and turned everything a muddy icky mess. Then there was a downpour and the temperature started plummeting. The rain turned to sleet and then something magical happened… gigantic puffs of white fell from the sky. We ventured out to check it out and were quite surprised by how it stuck to our nose and eyelashes. Almost like raindrops on kittens and whiskers on roses… wait, is that right? Bright paper packages and warm woolen ribbons…Oh well, you know what I mean… it all seemed so innocent and jovial.

But then it took a dark turn… literally, the sun went down and the temperature continued to drop. We could see our breath and icicles began to form on our chins. The tips of our ears and our hooves started getting a wee bit chilly. This was not fun. The once muddy ground got hard, really hard. It was a frozen ice skating rink and here we stood, without our skates! The heat lamps were in the “not lit” position and we pleaded with them to light. We needed some warmth!

If we wanted to get to our feed and water we would have to traverse this despicable stuff. Upon first glance it looked airy, soft, and enveloping. Almost like stepping on a cloud and being lifted to the warm heavens while harps play an enchanting melody.

Shocker, it’s not. It’s cold, it clumps in our hoofs, around our fur, and seems to work itself into every little crevice known to man and beast. It is a quicksand like sinking feeling with an icy undercurrent just waiting to send us sliding to our sure doom. And it gets worse…

Have you ever been a smallish dwarf doe goat with an incredibly full udder trying to walk through twelve feet of snow? Ok, maybe only two feet, but that foot of snow is just as cold as twelve feet! Or how about an extremely well endowed still smallish dwarf buck goat… you get the picture. Things get cold… like really cold. We don’t jump because we’re happy, we jump so our bits don’t freeze off! Sure, laugh it up…

This is Molly (the sheep) and I just want to make something very clear… goats are evil. I was minding my own business, happily munching hay when all of a sudden a massive ball of snow came out of nowhere! How do they do it, how do they throw a snowball with thise itty bitty hooves? Hit me right in the face and all they did was snicker. Luckily for them I am mature and refuse to partcipate in such nonsence… although, they do have to sleep some time… would be a shame for a prank to be pulled when they are all snug as a goat bug in a straw rug… Oh yes, the cover of darkness shall be my stage!

 

Farmer lady to the rescue! She came out like a knight in shining armor with buckets upon buckets of hot molasses water and put them up IN OUR SHELTERS! No more wading through that horrible white stuff.  With a single wave of her hand the lights of heat were lit and the warmth cut through the icy chill of the night air. She added hay and a little something with a kick to our grain… what is C-A-Y-E-N-N-E and why does it kinda make my tongue burn? Good news though, it’s GMO and gluten free! We animal residents of The Shepherd Hobby Farm are very serious about our GMO and gluten free things… no one wants any of those Good Morning  Olives and gluten totally makes hair grow on our chests. We don’t need any more hair… we are hairy enough as it is.

The dogs trotted over to see how we were doing. They laughed as they always do and called us wimps. Wimps? Really? Who’s the wimp who will most assuredly be cuddled up in front of the fireplace in about 2.3 seconds? Yup, those stupid dogs. We ignore them and jump on the lady farmer for attention. She gives the best neck rubs! Seriously, best ever! Hah, take that dogs… she’s not rubbing your neck is she?

The farmer lady pulls a huge bottle of hot milk from her secret hiding place in her coveralls and we all attack. Oh yummy yummy yummy, that stuff is so yummy but she always gives it to the BABIES! Seriously? The babies? Now there’s your real wimps!

Caesar the goat kid rejected by the ever increasingly evil Ella got first dibs on the bottle as he continued to jump on the farmer lady’s back as she tried to feed Webster the visiting lamb. Tell us again why we have a lamb visiting the farm… really? He seems t be a reject of some sort as well so he gets along quite well with Caesar… birds of a feather… we’re just sayin’.

Babies’ bellies are full and Scipio and Caesar (brothers) are scooped up and put in an enclosure with a super soft pine shavings bed and extra heat. Totally not fair but truth be told those two little boys were fast becoming icicles because they kept playing out in the snow. Webster was scooped up despite cries of argument. Apparently Caesar and Scipio use him as their own personal trampoline so he will spend the night inside. I wonder how that will go…

It is getting late and we are all tired. Fresh straw has been laid and hay is at the ready whenever our late night munching fits kick in. Water is still piping hot and farmer lady will most assuredly refresh it every hour throughout the night, correct? A goat can dream! Night night!

~Sincerely, the critters of The Shepherd Hobby Farm